There's No Easy Way to Say Goodbye

I stayed until evening in the office the day that I wrote my resignation. I waited for my boss to go home so that I can start writing the letter and slip it through her table. Since the letter is dated June 1, I can not serve it to her that night before the said date. I have been drawing up many ways of saying the word goodbye and on how to tell her personally. My colleagues have hints of my separation and they have been inquiring when will I tell my boss about it.

That's my chief, Ms. Alma, third in line from me at the front.

My boss and I were scheduled to travel together on June 1 to Bohol (Jagna and Alburquerque) for some business matters, so I made up my mind to tell her on our way back to Manila. I decided not to confront her before this date fearing that I might ruin her zeal of doing our business together. Well, I believe she's so professional to act such, but I just have to avoid such from happening. Who knows? That evening of May 31, she asked me what am I doing that I stayed late. I just reasoned that I have a meeting nearby that night and while waiting for my friend, I am doing office works instead.

Painstakingly, I was able to finish my letter at around 8pm and it said:

June 1, 2011

Alma Porciuncula
Chief of Party
Philippine Water Revolving Fund Support Program
2401 Prestige Tower, Ortigas Ave.,

Ortigas Center, Pasig City

Dear Ma’am Alma:

Words could not express how much I appreciate knowing you, working and learning many things with you. It is working with PWRF-SP that I have learned so many things, that I have grown in my profession too fast, and that I have accomplished valuable amounts of stuff I never thought I could. You and Ms Doreen among others have taught me a lot, personally and professionally. Of all the things I have said and done, for all the misgivings, please I am sorry. For all the things you have said and done for my sake, for your unconditional support, I can not thank you enough. The PWRF-SP is indeed a family of high-caliber and very wonderful people. I am so blest to be part of it.

I am never good at saying goodbye. I always deny the fact that everything has to end, even good things and great memories like ours in PWRF-SP. I fear project ending as much as I fear losing a job which for me is always equal to losing an income. As September or November 2011 near, I fear that waiting for it to come would mean hopeless unemployment or gruesome job-hunting or tiresome long-wait for new project that hires me. I don’t have savings, my parents totally depend on me; my siblings fortunately have income of their own but can not share my parents provision as much as I do. It is for this reason that I would like to say I am sorry that I will overtake the project ending by this resignation. May I also request that my last day of work would be June 30.

The DSWD-Millennium Challenge Account-Philippines’ Kalahi-CIDSS project has hired me as the Community Finance Analyst. The terms of reference interest me personally and professionally because it will put into use the knowledge I have had working with you and PWRF-SP. I hope to share the PWRF-SP utility reform initiatives as my first intervention with the community-based organizations to strengthen and sustain their water utility operations. The new project will start in June 2011, few months prior to PWRF-SP’s close. I want to take advantage of this break and so please allow me to take it. I wish I will enjoy the works with DSWD and MCAP as I enjoyed working with you.

Thank you so much for everything –- the rare opportunity to be you apprentice, the special chance to be you protégé, the big break (though short-lived) to be somebody of your caliber, the extraordinary phase in my life to be part of your and PWRF-SP family. I don’t want to think of this as parting but moving, not leaving but changing.

I wish you all the best. I do hope that our friendship lives on, that our paths cross again from time to time, that someday I can work with you again.

Very sincerely,
Crisanto B. Gastardo, Jr.

From the far left: Me, Ms. Doreen, Ms. Alma, Ms. Nenia, Ms. Aida, Engr. Ariel, Engr. Rene (standing at the back of Ariel), and Mr. Audi at the back in between the statues.