Saturday, March 27, 2010

Short Story: A CHEAT

“Welcome to SuperBowl of China! I am Dan and I will be serving you tonight,” recited the assigned waiter. I find him cute when he mouthed the words of the usual chant. He looked a bit chubby yet sexy and stood 5 foot 7 tall. A chinito-type that I am fond of.

I started flirting with him right then. My eyes twinkled whenever he was near me. My gayfriend Jessy sitting across, stared at me, eyebrows raised, as if saying, ‘Hey Bruce, you are exclusive. You already have Ricky. Let Dan be mine.’ Well, I would love to tease Jes, to make him jealous of me. I was more confident to do the flirting since the dinner host, Jackie, is the finance executive of this restaurant. These men I believe are under her control. Jackie was left alone ordering our food, while Jessy and I were busy ogling at now conscious Dan who’s also busy repeating the orders.

When the food arrived, I noticed that plenty has been ordered. I turned to Dan, “Would you like to dine with us?” I offered, “There’s a lot of this for the three of us.” Jessy, as gay as I am, nodded drooling at without blinking his stares from the beautiful faced waiter.

“Just taken my dinner during my breaktime earlier before you arrived, Sir,” he politely answered.

He left our table for quite a while. Jessy hinted me that Dan has been eyeing me from time to time at a distance while we were busy partaking the superbowl feast. Maybe he’s just keen at customer service, that anytime I or we might call him, I reasoned. Or maybe he liked me too; I chuckled at this thought.

We have barely touched most of our foods but we feel like we were full. Hinting that we relaxed from gorging, Dan approached our table, “how about dessert Sir, Ma’am?” He shifted his gaze from Jackie to me.

“I rather have you as my dessert,” I joked. Amazed with my punchline, he casted me his killer smile. “Ah, I hate you!” I cried rolling my eyes, and we all laughed.

We ordered tea instead of dessert. The manager whose a friend of Jackie also approached our table and offered us coffee. She took the coffee, Jessie and I the tea.

Later after few sips, I excused from the table and headed to find the restroom. To my surprise, Dan was at the doorsteps to usher me. I entered the men’s room and after a while Dan slid inside next to me with somewhat playful smile. Don’t know what crossed my mind but in a second I reached to him, pressed my body to his, tiptoed and kissed his lips. I tasted his sweet saliva. Then he disappeared the second we both realized what has just happened. I smirked at the thought of kissing the man out of the blue. Facing the mirror, I find myself enjoyed the scene. On our way out, I tipped him a hundred bucks, hoping that it will conceal my lascivious act I was guilty of.

I kept reminiscing that moment night after night that it woke me up somewhere in the middle of the night touching my body, stroking my hose in his images. Images of him on top of me aroused me and satisfied me.

A week later, Jackie messaged me that Dan has been inquiring things about me when they met at their company's Chinese New Year party. Several days later, I received a message from unknown source, saying he is Dan from the restaurant asking me to be his textmate and friend. He got my number from the customer evaluation form I filled up, “Sorry sir, I hope you don’t mind if I opened that form to check if you have phone number.”

Of course, my pleasure, I said to myself. I pictured myself smiled teasingly at me. I love the idea of him liking me. I have more thoughts of him texting me, asking me to see him, meeting him somewhere around glorietta-makati, and taking me to his place.

Then we met one night. He kissed me torridly as soon as we glided inside the bedroom. We undressed each other so hurriedly. It happened fast that I found him over my back stroking me, thrusting so passionately. “I need you to face me,” he flirted after several strokes he made. He pulled his warm hose off me and ushered me gently to face him. I can now see his very beautiful face and his angered crotch. He laid me down at my back; spread my legs to the sides. He pressed his body towards me pointing his hose to my hole. He pushed it in gently and I inhaled so deep to accommodate him. “Push it all,” I moaned.

He enjoyed every beat of our clapping bodies; it showed in his smiling eyes and handsomely contorted face. His face making made me hornier; it to me signified enjoyment and concentration that harmonized with his every push. Then I started touching my body, my maleness, as I felt his tighter grip at my sides. The tighter the grips get, the faster I masturbated. He moaned and I cried a sweet soft cry. Then his thrusts grew faster and I was coming. But wait, I should not hurry to end this lustful moment.

I pushed him to lie on his back and he followed. I was this time maneuvering on top. I bate so hard and so fast in rhythm with the ins and outs of his hose inside my elastic wet ass. His elating moaning excited me more. Suddenly,everything went faster in rhyme with the creaks the bed wailed. Until Dan closed his eyes forcefully and quivered under me. Simultaneously I surreptitiously shivered as the white stash burst out of me spreading everywhere on his belly. We both smiled at each other at this view at hard breaths. I then carefully shifted to turn my back on him without pulling off the bond. I laid beside him, “perfect!” I whispered. And he snored after a while.

It felt déjà vu. Those lines were our intimate lines at lovemaking with my Ricky. And it happened on our own bed, I realized. “Gosh!” my hand instantaneously crawled around the bed to inspect. I forced to opened my eyes and “Thank God!” I exclaimed, relieved to have found my partner on bed beside me. I thought I was actually with someone else. I sheepishly turned to face my snoring, so sound asleep Ricky; my undies felt sticking wet around my groin. It made me shudder, I did come.

I reached my phone right then. It was past 1 a.m. said the clock on the monitor. I forced my spicy eyes to open and typed, “I am sorry Dan but we can not be textmates or even friends. I have a live-in partner and I love him very much.” And I pressed send.

Monday, March 22, 2010


'Taga-Anao-aon' is my birthmark.

I love it! The mere sound of it. For me it sounds uncommon, unspoiled, unhurried. For me it feels fresh, peace, quiet. For this i refer it as she or her.

Sad to say, she was deprived of the right to retain her sweet name. Some daring ones, who think they own her, who think has power to change names, who's disrespectful of one's birthright, has altered and replaced it with San Francisco.

I am not being disrespectful either of naming a place in honor of a patron saint. I am not against the new name. But the thing is that the new name has a lot in common. And her old name is just but one of a kind. I remembered receiving lots of postmails (since there were no emails or express carriers then) that passed through San Francisco, Agusan del Sur - which is better known and has been named earlier than our place. And not only postmails but also packages and more. It was a good thing though because since then we still make use of her name enclosed in parenthesis (Anao-aon) after addressing San Francisco.

She is a small town lying along the west coast of Surigao province at the northeastern peak of Mindanao island. I remembered scanning a 1950 map bearing her most beautiful name, along with wonderful old names of her barangays, like Ponong, Macopa, Magtangale, Banbanon, Oslao, Linongganan, Amontay, and Jubgan. See how lovely their names are! It projects uniqueness and beauty.

Well, nothing much can be said about her. I can only remember short lines in a coined legend of her i heard. That there were two lovers, Anao, the man, and Aon, the lady. They were so in loved that they did not mind being blood-related. They were first cousins in fact and that the whole consanguinous families were against it. But when the whole clan tried to separate them by force, they resorted to stubbing themselves together at the same time. Thus, Anao-aon existed with two close yet separated rivers.

There's nothing so exciting about her. Yet she has unique, very captivating aura, enstores especially for tourists, discoverers, or curious lookers. It has though beatiful stony shorelines, great landscapes of hills, mountains, and ricefields, and friendly people who knew everyone. I really can't give you her vital statistics, but simple lifestyle is in, tranquility is guaranteed.

I lived under her care for 25 years. I want to serve her in return but I got only 2 years to do it. I wanted though to serve her long but I was blocked by intruders. Yes, intruders! She was conquered by them, enslaved by them, abused by them. Somebody, an Uncle of mine who really hailed from her bossom, has tried to serve as a leader. But again was only given few years to do an honest duty to her.
I lament on the fact that, despite her one-of-a-kind splendor, politics is a dirty game in her place. Insofar as i can fathom, most of her populace don't want leaders. They instead chose politicians. But hey, what's the difference? Aren't politicians leaders? Aren't politicians public servants? Aren't politicians care for the common good?

Yes! But, NO! Leader leads, politician rules. Leader teaches, politician imposes. Leader pleas, politician coerces. Leaders teach a person to live his life, politicians instead teach him to depend his life on him. Leaders have a heart to serve Anao-aon, politicians on the other hand have a mind of slaving her. Leaders are risk-takers and politicians are gamblers. Most leaders are homegrown while politicians are mostly migrants or aliens or foreigners.

Anao-aon is my place. She's my hometown. She's been a town since 1957 but I saddened to see her state. Don't expect to find a public market or any economic enterprise. Don't expect to find improved water systems. Don't expect to find demand-driven government projects. I don't know if it's a good thing to be labeled "improvement-free".

I pity her because she is hurt.
I pity her because she is abused.
I pity her because she is enslaved.
I pity her because she is abandoned.
I pity her because she is deprived of the right to grow.

Somebody should feel her pain.
Somebody should save her.
Somebody should serve her right.
Somebody should stand for her.

Hope someday...
Somebody will.
Or else... I WILL!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

An Apology

An Apology
dan gastardo

"Sorry" may sound so "worn-out" for transgressors like myself, but kul I really mean it. Im so sorry! I know you were saddened and very much disappointed of my actions last February 27. Guilt-feelings overwhelmed my emotions the moment I realized I had offended you uncle. I really felt so shameful that I had taken for granted the things we talked about in boracay. The plans like what am I gonna do first, then whats next, where to go, what to wear.etc. You even gave me a 500 peso bill hoping I would reach my auntie's place safe and sound. But, every single piece of it was wasted because of my act that went overboard. Kul, I'm not gonna say any explanations or alibi on why I was not able catch my flight sked. It was obviously an act of negligence and immaturity. Well, these are my characteristics that indeed need transformation.

Kul, I hope I am Not Too LAte To Apologize.....

Kul would you still let me enter the doors of your house if ever I m gonna knock on it someday??

Re: An Apology
cris gastardo

apology accepted.

i was never that upset that you weren't able to catch your flight. i was very upset to the fact that i have reminded you 3 times not to be late. or to mind that cebu airport is far from the downtown, in fact i was initially relieved to know that you were just around the airport. when you told me you were actually in "cheavers" (i can not remember the exact name of the place you mentioned) i was apprehensive and reminded you again of being at the airport early. actually when i was near you, i might have punched you in the face.

but my disappointment of your misconduct does not end at casting you away. my decision to let you go back to Surigao is to let you realize that you deserve a punishment, that you have to recover your dignity from there, that you have to redeem yourself from your nanay you spent the almost P1,000 forfeited plane fare you wasted.

i believe you understand now why we, i mean i personally, would not want you to study in cebu. primarily because you don't know how to control your world when surrounded with friends. it should be that you must control your friends, not the other way around.

but i would still stand with my early decision or suggestion, that you better pass the urios university law entrance exam for you to pursue law. if you still fail, then you better find yourself a job. and in this regard, you choose where to work, whether in Surigao or Manila. My doors are always open for you if you decide to work around here, only until you can afford to stay your own.

my point really is for you to grow, to mature, to be responsible, to be a man. and you must start now.

Flash Back

The boracay trip Entoy, my nephew, and I shared was a success. We have a lot of fun. And I believed Entoy enjoyed everything about boracay.

Until our trip back to Manila, I flew Kalibo-Manila flight; Entoy was supposed to take the Caticlan-Manila flight via Cebu.

The following were our exchange of SMS messages:

11:07 am – entoy: kul alas onse man diay ak flyt sked..

This message really panicked me, thinking he was late to check and was left in Caticlan while I was already in Kalibo that time. I have been calling him but can not be reached, said the operator.

12:15 pm – entoy:jari nak cebu kul

Relieved, I reminded him of his flight to Manila later that afternoon.

03:36 pm – entoy: jari pa airport kul…

I commended him of staying at the airport to keep track of his flight. He might slip-up checking in late then.

03:51 pm – entoy: jari bitaw kami sac heavers kul kadali… hehe

This alarmed me. I have never been to cheavers so I don’t know exactly how far that was from the airport. So I reminded him again of being at the airport early.

03:53 pm – entoy: oo kul..hehe..,jaun na kaw mandaluyong

I was riding the bus that time. I think I was at baclaran area when I replied.

03:54 pm – entoy: aah ok kul…, c yah.., hehe..,

I reached home, unpacked. Rested. Until…

05:33 pm – entoy: ko xa ak flyt.. forfeited na daw.

This burnt me. I freaked out so I chose not to call him; I might say many bad things to him. I called up my sister, En regarding this. I told her to tell entoy to better go back to Surigao, never to set foot in Manila or I will punch him.

07:32 pm – entoy: kul., sori karajaw kul.., traffic 2ho kul.., uli ko xa lunes kul..,

I reminded him three times not to be late at check-in.
08:49 pm – entoy: hmmp… uu kul.., sori karajaw kul..,

Saturday, March 6, 2010

When I’m dissatisfied?

I run away!

I did that twice now so far.

My first employment was accidental, or in subtle terms a circumstance-imposed, or shall I call it in a finer way, a blessing in disguise. I became a college accounting instructor because that was what is required in the contract I signed before I passed the CPA board exam. I would not have taken and passed that exam without the scholarship granted by my Alma Mater, Saint Paul University Surigao (formerly known as San Nicolas College). That agreement required me in return to serve the school for at least three years as a college faculty. Of course, it never was a pro bono; with nice pay in fact. The three years I have been so religiously compliant with the contract, I have no regrets and I was satisfied with work and pay. But of course, I can complain no more, because it was where I established my professional life. I resigned from full time teaching after the required minimum years and opted to do part-time teaching. I can not survive teaching because such is a tedious profession, demanding enough to the point that I brought home works almost everyday, that I so hot and bothered in time of preparation and submission of grades, and that I find it so irksome to periodically prepare questions for daily quizzes and regular exams.

I soon landed at my second job as a local government accountant. I was smoothly ushered to this position without hustle and bustle of conventional hiring procedures. It never occurred to me really to desire working in government basically because I never appreciate government accounting in my college years. But because of my father’s behest to at least serve my hometown, I acceded. I lasted two years though, and every day of my life with it was such a frustration. It was in fact 730 days of professional torment, dispiriting working environment. Thanks to my part-time teaching job that I find ventilation; a diversion. Much to my dissatisfaction, noting that 2 years is more than enough for a sacrifice, I ran away just in time that the commotion in that working place is rife. I can not thrive in a place where I felt like I am burnt in hell, when strong politicking so daunting. I am the type of person who doesn’t entertain intrigues, who isn’t seeking enemies, who care less of qualms and quarrels. But working with local government unit hit my dignity, integrity and professionalism. This was the first time I flew away from responsibility. I absconded when my term has due which did not require me resignation letter. My flight is cleared.

I happened to find refuge in foreign-funded projects. It opened my eyes to wider horizons, it opened doors to more opportunities, it granted me greener pastures, it bestowed me more blessings in life. Yes, it still involved the government, local government accounting in fact, but this time I was an outsider dealing with accountants like myself then. I enjoyed every tad of the experiences, I learned lots of lessons, I bagged plenty of blessings, and I savored the appeal of contributing goodness to community. Until I worked in one project when I was put to ordeal yet again. This time I happened to work with a supervisor who has no single clue of the work we undertook. I was with the person for a year and every moment of working with her is such a misery, a struggle, a disappointment. It is entirely different from my prior dissatisfying job in the local government unit. Then it was primarily due to political pressures and ugly bureaucracy; this time it is personal maturity and professional readiness.

My 2009 journal recorded several entries of my dissatisfaction in work. On January 6, I wrote, “I emailed my supervisor my comments on the work assignments she drew for our unit staff. I added more issues and concerns, basically the need of our unit to conduct special training, close monitoring on work in progress from the day the assignment is effected.” I always insisted the pro-active approach in every bit of our roles and responsibilities.

On February 9, I wrote, “Since I assumed my new position, I felt so unhappy for various reasons… I felt alone in this endeavor considering that my immediate supervisor lack the required knowledge.” More were mentioned in my March 9 entry. All my 3 paragraphs have started with a clause “it is so disappointing” relating to worthless efforts of enforcing guidelines which the end-user find hard to follow. In my few years as a local project finance consultant, I find it useful to revisit financial guidelines and reeducate or reorient affected or concerned individuals including its updates and revisions.

On March 31, entitled ‘depleting admiration’ I wrote, “I thought she understood the content of all (the guidelines she made) of it, I thought she can relay them in term understandable to all affected individuals/entities, I thought she can translate them into actual actions… Indeed my admiration of her capacity, her qualification has depleted.” April 20 entitled ‘I am prepared for worse’ entry I said, “Unfortunately I ran out of fortitude to suggest (more programs and strategies) to my supervisor, because primarily she doesn’t or can’t understand about it, doesn’t know how to go about it, doesn’t know what she is supposed to do or should do. I have suggested much but nothing progressed.”

On May 21, I was enraged and so was my journal entry. I wrote, “Unreasonable! Irrational!” This referred to my supposed travel the following week which travel authority remained unapproved, while the communication to my regional counterparts has been forwarded. I confronted her on this matter but she just naively answered, “It is easy for us to travel in short notice.” It freaked me out because short notice does not apply to local government units to which the visit will be made; they need extra time to prepare. My journal continued, “My disappointment never ceased until Friday. So I phone the office in sick to get rid of seeing her damn dumb face.” That following Monday I thought of leaving the office for good. And I wrote, “I am no longer happy working with the project, so I believe that the best thing to do is to move out.”

Come July 9, I further wrote “I have been complaining about her management style, though at the back of my mind I believe she did not have one. However, I just kept it to myself, afraid that I may be misconstrued of running after her position. I do believe I am more qualified than her but I don’t need to brag about it, or find ways to drag her down. She has been a headache to me for couple of months. But I tried to focus myself on the job, on what I can do or contribute to the project. I conditioned myself to take everything easy, minding not her shortcomings. That (no matter what I do) I have to deal with her ineffectiveness, inefficiency, and her (dumbness) ignorance.”

Until August 15, when I tendered my resignation.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Lucrative Profession

March is a lucrative month for me. April 15th is the deadline for filing annual income tax returns, naturally most people or businesses are cramming for it (which Filipinos are used to). Given that my profession is accountancy, they would of course require my services.

I have been practicing my CPA profession for over 12 years now. When I started practicing in Surigao, I gained several clients. When I transferred to Manila, I started with my fellow consultants as clients, later came the one in Ayala-Alabang, and then my friend Albert, a former colleague in Department of Finance project, referred me to a client in Antipolo. More came after, my college classmate whose husband is a contractor hired me, and a kababayan referred me to another kababayan who asked for help in the compliance of BIR reportorial requirements.

I earned two professions actually. My accounting is my first, nursing is the second. These two are two different and distinct professions that they confused me which to actually practice. There are times though when I think of practicing my nursing profession, wanting desperately to apply even just a part-time or volunteer. However, as my desire to be a nurse prosper so as the increase in the demand of my accounting profession.

The total professional fees I earned from all engagements in 2009 have afforded me my Hongkong and Macau trip in June 2009, even my canceled Bangkok-Siem Reap trip in November 2009.

For so many years now, accounting profession is by far lucrative for me. I hope more engagements will fall this year too.