Monday, July 30, 2012

Love in a Count of Three

- i feel blest, lucky
- i feel complete, perfect, invincible
- i feel very human and somewhat divine
- i feel i find who i truly am

- i feel however pain, real unbearable pain
- i feel being played, toyed, conspired
- i feel lost, confused, very crazy
- i feel down, depressed, broken
- i feel hatred, cursing, swearing

- i feel betrayed, stabbed to death
- i feel my whole body cold and numbed
- i feel darkness devoured me whole
- i feel breathless... dead... done!

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Celebrating Anniversaries of Joblessness

A very remarkable month in my career life;
the very month I once experienced being jobless
yet so far my whole life.

i don't worry, i don't panic, i don't mind though!

I just wondered why was I not worried about it?
unlike before when I sort of apprehensive losing my job,
even just imagining about it or having no work at all.

maybe because all my siblings have their good lives, good jobs too
that they can handle family responsibilities that I thought I alone can handle ---
my parent's subsistence, my parent's medicines, et cetera

maybe because my older brothers have gainfully employed abroad
my little sister had married and got an uninterrupted job contracts
all with good pays

I however am particularly grateful for that break.
That it reminds me of drawing back into the first step in my professional ladder and start anew in the corporate world.
That was the high time for me to get employed with multinational corporations.
That through that break I can ready myself tro face and realize my big dreams.

just so i thought

That never pushed through though. I ended up as practicing consultant for various development projects. But it instead gave me silver spoon to brisk my way through realizing my big dreams.

My friend Mark Sheuerell of Chicago commented saying, "An honestly written soulful treatise of the practicality of putting one faith in God."

Sunday, July 8, 2012

My Firsts!

First TV

My very first TV (first ever family tv), purchased in 1997 as my christmas bonus souvenir. That 14-inch Sony TV was the first christmas gift I had being gainfully employed as College Instructor at Saint Paul College Surigao.

This Sharp TV was the first TV I redeemed from my former friend. He failed the monthly installment payments and so I took over and instead owned the appliance. It was in 2000 when I took possession and until this time is still functioning well. It's 2 years now that the cable TV services has reached our place, and this TV set has that connection.

First Washing Machine

My second project after the first TV was the purchase of washing machine. I pity my mother to wash all our clothes manually. I can no longer remember the brand. All I can remember is that the I have acquired two of such machines since then.

First CD Cassette Player

My sister Crestina Gastardo-Gatillo is fond of listening to music, and both of us were fond of dancing. I decided to buy a CD-cassette player for the two of us, specifically for such purposes. It was since 1999 when I acquired this Phillips Player, and fortunately, it is still functional up to date.

First Refrigerator

One of my aunts-in-law expressed her jealousy of the very first 8 cu. ft. refrigerator I bought for my mother. It is a National Panasonic ref which is still in use until today.

First House Renovation

Our parents house was originally built with concrete foundation, the flooring and the posts' base, the single walling was consisted of plywoods; divisions, beams, bedroom floors, and even jalousie windows were made of lumbers. When I started working and earning, the foundation weakened and the wood sections gave up. I started renovating in 1998 replacing initially the plywood divisions and walling. Later, my father and I decided to eliminate the basement and construct a new foundation that would afford a second storey, if means permit.

The front view of the house facing the highway (national road), as it has always been, since the old structure was surrounded by star apple trees, flowers and non-flowering plants.

The eastern side of our house. The outside looks pale since painting was done only in the interiors. The total cost of the concreted family home has surpassed the 1M peso bracket. It was however not pour into at one time, since I don't have that much. The completion (though still incomplete) of the whole structure was done in numerous phases since 1998. The phasing started with the concreting of the posts and walls; the first to complete was the bedrooms, then the toilet and shower rooms, sink and kitchen, followed by the living and dining areas.

The picture below shows the southwestern side of the house. This is where the  incompleteness becomes visible. But at least the water tank is finally acquired and installed to service the second floor's toilet and shower.

This is the side where the next phase of the project would focus, the concrete finishing of the walls, the exterior designing, and the painting. If you ask me when? I don't know yet.

The Home Interiors

Since the completion of the physical structure, my parents' persistence paid off. They insisted the finishing of the interiors and requested for funding to paint the lower floor. But later they decided to include instead the second storey.

The pictures below show the completely painted interiors, though the decorations are partial.

The receiving area of the upper floor, this time with wall decors. The very first electric fan I acquired is still functional except for its supposedly rotating grill. And my first TV and the other chandelier putting more fillings plus the handed down plastic sala set and table. That steel bars you can notice at the right side is the opening of the winding stairs.

My design of the ceiling in the second storey overlooking my bedroom. Just recently, my parents completed the painting of the interiors. This requires a more glamorous chandelier...

As people say, circles is a fortune. It hopefully signifies for us a bounty that never ends. This is the entire view of the ceiling above my bedroom. The concreting of the house and the gorgeous interior were my forever first investment.

My first king-size bed situated at the second floor of our family home. I bought the bedframe from a store at Shangrila Mall along EDSA-Shaw avenues and the orthopedic bed, of chinese brand, from my good friend. The mattress was picked up from my friend's unit at Globe Tower in Pioneer area.

First Interior Decor

The very first wall decor in our home --- a cross-stitched adonis created by a former friend of mine. This artwork was initially petitioned by my father --- an exhibition of his war against my gayness.

First Business Venture

My very first business venture was a refreshment parlor located in Surigao City. This juice cooler and dispenser was my very first acquired  store equipment.

First Chandelier

My very first chandelier! I purchased 2 of these from A&S Lamps at 70% discounted price. My former boss and mentor also purchase 2 other, a bigger model of these, at the same time. I shipped them home to adorn our newly renovated house.

First Books

The dining set and this divider are not my properties. These were acquired by my parents during the first birthday of my sister Crestina Gastardo-Gatillo in 1982. What is mine in this pic are the 2 sets of encyclopedia, the grolier general encyclopedia and the business encyclopedia. These are my and my sister's first books.

First Family Car

Definitely our first car! When our eldest brother come back home after his first contract of work abroad, the siblings agreed to buy a utility car for family or business use. The Mitsubishi FB Van was the hit in the transport industry in our home province, so that was the first and only choice. It ended however as family car and my sister-in-law's business vehicle.

First Titled Family Farm

My father is a farmer and was a tenant until last year when he was awarded by Comprehensive Agrarian Reform Program (CARP). He now owned about a hectare of land, a third of which is cultivated for palay plantation, a creek covers the huge portion. The following photos are current takes but remind me of my firsts...
Roberto Gastardo, my second elder brother who has the knack for farming. It was about two decades ago that we both on these waters to harvest kangkong for hogs' feeding. He was the one who taught me how to swim.

The Senior version of me; that's my beloved father. This is a reminiscent of the days that we herd carabaos and cows. One cow was butchered during my college graduation and a carabao when I passed the CPA board exam.

Our family called this Isla, meaning islet. It was originally a small piece of land in the middle of the creek. During my grade school until my mid-high school years, we resided here and my father constructed an abode made of bamboo poles and nipa shingles. Nowadays, a portion is cultivated for farming and the other is planted with trees, like narra.

My father's palay plantation

A portion of the creek surrounding the Isla

Narra, banana and coconut trees

Where our bamboo-nipa made house were used to be. We abandoned for a time our house along the highway to live adjacent to the farm my father tilled, from my elementary and high school years. It was a long walk to and from the town proper and the schools.

The expansion currently tilled 

The uncultivated southernmost portion of my father's land

This is the land area I intend to utilize for future farm resort.