Saturday, March 6, 2010

When I’m dissatisfied?

I run away!

I did that twice now so far.

My first employment was accidental, or in subtle terms a circumstance-imposed, or shall I call it in a finer way, a blessing in disguise. I became a college accounting instructor because that was what is required in the contract I signed before I passed the CPA board exam. I would not have taken and passed that exam without the scholarship granted by my Alma Mater, Saint Paul University Surigao (formerly known as San Nicolas College). That agreement required me in return to serve the school for at least three years as a college faculty. Of course, it never was a pro bono; with nice pay in fact. The three years I have been so religiously compliant with the contract, I have no regrets and I was satisfied with work and pay. But of course, I can complain no more, because it was where I established my professional life. I resigned from full time teaching after the required minimum years and opted to do part-time teaching. I can not survive teaching because such is a tedious profession, demanding enough to the point that I brought home works almost everyday, that I so hot and bothered in time of preparation and submission of grades, and that I find it so irksome to periodically prepare questions for daily quizzes and regular exams.

I soon landed at my second job as a local government accountant. I was smoothly ushered to this position without hustle and bustle of conventional hiring procedures. It never occurred to me really to desire working in government basically because I never appreciate government accounting in my college years. But because of my father’s behest to at least serve my hometown, I acceded. I lasted two years though, and every day of my life with it was such a frustration. It was in fact 730 days of professional torment, dispiriting working environment. Thanks to my part-time teaching job that I find ventilation; a diversion. Much to my dissatisfaction, noting that 2 years is more than enough for a sacrifice, I ran away just in time that the commotion in that working place is rife. I can not thrive in a place where I felt like I am burnt in hell, when strong politicking so daunting. I am the type of person who doesn’t entertain intrigues, who isn’t seeking enemies, who care less of qualms and quarrels. But working with local government unit hit my dignity, integrity and professionalism. This was the first time I flew away from responsibility. I absconded when my term has due which did not require me resignation letter. My flight is cleared.

I happened to find refuge in foreign-funded projects. It opened my eyes to wider horizons, it opened doors to more opportunities, it granted me greener pastures, it bestowed me more blessings in life. Yes, it still involved the government, local government accounting in fact, but this time I was an outsider dealing with accountants like myself then. I enjoyed every tad of the experiences, I learned lots of lessons, I bagged plenty of blessings, and I savored the appeal of contributing goodness to community. Until I worked in one project when I was put to ordeal yet again. This time I happened to work with a supervisor who has no single clue of the work we undertook. I was with the person for a year and every moment of working with her is such a misery, a struggle, a disappointment. It is entirely different from my prior dissatisfying job in the local government unit. Then it was primarily due to political pressures and ugly bureaucracy; this time it is personal maturity and professional readiness.

My 2009 journal recorded several entries of my dissatisfaction in work. On January 6, I wrote, “I emailed my supervisor my comments on the work assignments she drew for our unit staff. I added more issues and concerns, basically the need of our unit to conduct special training, close monitoring on work in progress from the day the assignment is effected.” I always insisted the pro-active approach in every bit of our roles and responsibilities.

On February 9, I wrote, “Since I assumed my new position, I felt so unhappy for various reasons… I felt alone in this endeavor considering that my immediate supervisor lack the required knowledge.” More were mentioned in my March 9 entry. All my 3 paragraphs have started with a clause “it is so disappointing” relating to worthless efforts of enforcing guidelines which the end-user find hard to follow. In my few years as a local project finance consultant, I find it useful to revisit financial guidelines and reeducate or reorient affected or concerned individuals including its updates and revisions.

On March 31, entitled ‘depleting admiration’ I wrote, “I thought she understood the content of all (the guidelines she made) of it, I thought she can relay them in term understandable to all affected individuals/entities, I thought she can translate them into actual actions… Indeed my admiration of her capacity, her qualification has depleted.” April 20 entitled ‘I am prepared for worse’ entry I said, “Unfortunately I ran out of fortitude to suggest (more programs and strategies) to my supervisor, because primarily she doesn’t or can’t understand about it, doesn’t know how to go about it, doesn’t know what she is supposed to do or should do. I have suggested much but nothing progressed.”

On May 21, I was enraged and so was my journal entry. I wrote, “Unreasonable! Irrational!” This referred to my supposed travel the following week which travel authority remained unapproved, while the communication to my regional counterparts has been forwarded. I confronted her on this matter but she just naively answered, “It is easy for us to travel in short notice.” It freaked me out because short notice does not apply to local government units to which the visit will be made; they need extra time to prepare. My journal continued, “My disappointment never ceased until Friday. So I phone the office in sick to get rid of seeing her damn dumb face.” That following Monday I thought of leaving the office for good. And I wrote, “I am no longer happy working with the project, so I believe that the best thing to do is to move out.”

Come July 9, I further wrote “I have been complaining about her management style, though at the back of my mind I believe she did not have one. However, I just kept it to myself, afraid that I may be misconstrued of running after her position. I do believe I am more qualified than her but I don’t need to brag about it, or find ways to drag her down. She has been a headache to me for couple of months. But I tried to focus myself on the job, on what I can do or contribute to the project. I conditioned myself to take everything easy, minding not her shortcomings. That (no matter what I do) I have to deal with her ineffectiveness, inefficiency, and her (dumbness) ignorance.”

Until August 15, when I tendered my resignation.

No comments:

Post a Comment